In this week’s edition of Stories of Addiction Recovery, we speak with Colin, a young man who fought his way back from alcoholism and drug abuse. Here, he shares his story.
Trying to Fill the Void
If I look back at my life and I’m honest with myself, even though I was raised in a healthy home and I was always taught right from wrong, good from bad, I seemed to always have this void internally, and I’ve always tried to fill it. And I didn’t even realize that until my disease, my illness took me to some pretty dark places.
Just a frail shell of a person
I can remember sitting in my house, being up for the third or fourth day in a row calling out of work, and I walked past my mirror and it was like something grabbed me and pulled me back in front of the mirror. I stood there by myself looking into the mirror. There was just no life in my eyes. I was just this frail shell of a person. I finally had this sense of truth that I’m powerlessness over drugs and alcohol. I can’t stop even when I want to stop. It controls my life regardless of the substance. I’m going to end up dead or in jail.
I had finally realized that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict
I reached out to my mother and I finally said, “Mom, I’m ready. I need help. And although I was fearful of making that statement, as soon as I did, it was like there was this deep breath. I had finally realized that I was an alcoholic and a drug addict.
I thought maybe this does work…
Once I was at Green Mountain, I had total willingness to trust that maybe this does work. I very quickly began to sense a change about me. Even early on, in my first month of sobriety, I wanted to help others, I wanted to spend my time doing this work so that I could be free of this.
Now, I have more purpose, fulfillment, contentment. Now, I have more motivation to live a beautiful life and to help others than I ever had in the prior 23 years of my life. Helping others gives me a better feeling than drugs and alcohol ever did. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything at this point. Watch the full video: