Rob, an alcoholic in recovery, shares his eye-opening experience of realizing – for the first time – the severity of his disease. Here is Rob’s story:
I remember looking around the room and being like, “I’m an alcoholic. Like, I’m an alcoholic. This – this is what’s wrong with me.” You know, I was excited because for my whole life up until that point I had no idea what the hell was wrong with me.
It Had Become a Real, Real Problem
I was using every day… I was having problems at work… I was calling out… I was really maladjusted at the time. I wasn’t paying bills, and it became a real, real problem. And at this point, it got so bad that I was stealing from my parents. I was lying to them, I was writing checks out of my dad’s checkbook. I mean, these are lines that I never would have crossed without an addiction. And I found myself doing it.
My Family Gave Me Two Options…
It was a really, really, really tough time on my family. And they said, “Look. We’re here to give you two options: you can either accept the gift that we want to give you or you can go and live in your car, because you’re no longer welcome in our home. We do not want you to be a part of our family anymore.” I was shaking in the car, you know. I remember fingernail marks in my hands because I was so mad. I had this thought come to me, like, “You know what? I’m going to do everything it possibly takes to attain sobriety.” From that moment forward, I just started writing and just started getting into the program and the whole spiritual aspect of it, just seemed something that I needed.
Until Treatment, I Didn’t Even Know What I Was
I remember getting my first Big Book and I’m sitting there and Piers (Piers Kaniuka, Director of Spiritual Life at Granite Recovery Centers) is drawing on a whiteboard. He’s describing the disease model of being an alcoholic, and to this point, I didn’t even know what I was. I just knew that I was in treatment because I used drugs. And he’s writing it up on the board and I’m relating to every… single… thing he’s saying. In treatment, Granite Recovery Centers help you to identify what the truth is as an alcoholic: that if you’re an alcoholic and an addict like me, who has no choice but to pick up, who is stuck in the mental obsession, who can’t go a day without using drugs and a substance, you can’t use. I need to know to the depth of me – to my core – that I can never use in safety and that I’m going to die from this thing if I pick up again. That is the truth of alcoholism, of being an addict.
My Life Today–It Just Fills Me Up…
And now I know a ton of guys that have graduated the program here and that are doing super well. So my relationships just in general, not only with my family but with my coworkers, you know, with my friends, they’re so much deeper. There’s so much more to them now. And I’m doing something I love. I have a job today as a nursing assistant. I help people every day. And it fills me up.
Watch the full video interview with Rob: